I have been participating in the How of Happy classes for the last few months. In this course, I’m learning and practicing identifying my needs and feelings. The method extensively allows me to recur to practical daily life issues and use them to self-awareness and find the correct vocabulary for my feelings and needs.

We all have needs and feelings, but sometimes it cannot be easy to express them. It can be especially true regarding needs and feelings we deem “negative,” such as anger, sadness, or insecurity. However, it’s important to remember that all needs and feelings are valid and that we all have a right to express them. Additionally, when we don’t express our needs and feelings, they can manifest in negative ways, such as through aggression or self-harm. This blog post will explore the importance of non-violent communication and how to identify and express your needs and feelings. We’ll also offer some tips for self-expression. By the end of this post, you should better understand your needs and feelings and how to communicate them effectively.

AI generated image: a monk on the top of a mountain appreciating the sunset and deeply thinking about his feelings and needs. oil paint by salvador dali

Expressing your needs and feelings

Self-expression is an essential aspect of human development and is crucial for personal growth and social interaction. Without self-expression, we may not be able to fully understand our own needs and feelings, which can lead to frustration and conflict.

There are many ways to express yourself non-violently. For example, you can write down your thoughts and feelings or talk to a trusted friend or family member about what’s on your mind. Self-expression can also take the form of creative expressions such as painting, sculpting, or playing a musical instrument. The benefits of expressing yourself in these ways include improved mental health, better relationships, and greater self-awareness.

The importance of Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

The hospitality industry widely adopts non-violent communication (NVC). NVC is a communication style that focuses on understanding and fulfilling the needs of both parties involved. It can be vital in this industry, as it helps to improve customer service.

One example of how NVC can help is by helping to resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully. By doing this, customers are more likely to remain satisfied with their experience, and staff members are less likely to become angry or frustrated. Additionally, by taking into account the feelings and needs of both parties, staff members are better equipped to provide high-quality service.

NVC also has benefits for employees in the workplace. For example, it can help to boost self-esteem and confidence. It can also help to create a positive work environment free from negative emotions such as anger or frustration. In short, using NVC can significantly impact employee morale and productivity.

The psychology behind your needs and feelings

We all have needs and feelings that direct our actions. Identifying and understanding our needs and feelings is a crucial element of self-expression. It’s also essential for staying in touch with ourselves. When we can express ourselves authentically, we feel connected to ourselves and can better manage our emotions.

It’s indispensable to be heard and understood regarding our needs and feelings. Sometimes people don’t listen to us, or they misinterpret what we’re saying. It can lead to frustration, anger, or sadness. We must learn the difference between a feeling (like sadness) and a need (like wanting someone to listen). When we know the difference, it becomes much easier to communicate effectively with others.

How to identify your needs and feelings

Identifying our needs and feelings can be difficult, especially when uncomfortable with them. However, this is an essential process for our personal and professional development. By understanding our needs and feelings, we can better manage them and achieve our goals.

One of the most remarkable aspects of non-violent communication is the willingness to listen attentively. Listening to others carefully, we can gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and feelings. By expressing ourselves vulnerably, we open up space for dialogue and connection. This ultimately leads to greater self-awareness and improved relationships.

Self-expression is effective self-care. Through writing or speaking honestly about our experiences, we can explore what matters to us in life. It helps us build stronger foundations from which to operate – professionally and personally. Finally, it’s helpful not to take things too seriously – if something feels cathartic or therapeutic, embrace it!

Tips for Self Expression

Self-expression can be complex, but it can be easier and more effective with the right tips. First, recognize your feelings and needs, and choose an effective communication strategy. Respect yourself and others while being assertive rather than aggressive when expressing your feelings. Remember to keep the other person’s perspective in mind as well- don’t just state your opinion without considering the other person’s point of view. Finally, always be open to feedback - whether it is positive or negative - so that you can continue to grow as an individual and as a communicator.

Understanding your feelings

What are feelings?

Feelings are complex sensations that arise from the interaction of our thoughts, emotions, and body. They can be positive or negative, strong or weak, and they can impact our overall well-being.

The different types of feelings:

There are six primary types of feelings – happiness, sadness, anger, fear, love, and jealousy. Each has its own unique set of associated thoughts and emotions. For example, joy is typically accompanied by thoughts such as “I’m happy” or “I feel happy.” Sadness is often accompanied by thoughts such as “I’m sad” or “I feel sad.” Anger may be expressed through words (such as yelling), actions (throwing things), or both. Fear may result in physical symptoms such as anxiety or shaking. Love may be experienced in various ways (for example, Admiration or Compassion). Finally, jealousy can hurt the feelings of others we perceive to have taken something away from us (for example, A partner leaving us for another person).

How to understand your feelings:

It can be challenging to identify and understand our feelings at first glance. However, with consistent practice, it becomes easier and more natural to recognize these sensations when they occur. The key is to become aware of your thinking and emotional processes as they unfold – this will allow you to understand your current state of mind better. There are many ways to do this; one popular method is mindfulness meditation. In addition, several books on the topic offer more detailed instructions on how to gain insight into your emotional states.

The benefits of understanding your feelings: Understanding our emotions allows us to control them. It enables us to manage our responses effectively in situations where we might react impulsively (for example, when angry). Additionally, identifying and understanding our feelings helps us develop empathy for other people – meaning that we take their perspective into account when assessing their situation. (For example, if someone tells me they’re angry, I can better understand why they feel that way.)

Understanding our emotions also allows us to change them, should we want too. By changing how we think about an event or situation (for example, by focusing on gratitude instead of anger), we can help ourselves experience greater levels of well-being.

How to express your feelings in a non-violent way: Healthily expressing negative emotions takes time, effort, and practice. It involves acknowledging how you’re feeling without judgment, dwelling on the past/future implications of those Feelings, and accepting that those feelings will eventually pass. But it doesn’t have to be hard! Many easy tips and techniques are available online to best communicate with those around you.


In conclusion, it’s healthier to express your needs and feelings in a non-violent way. It includes listening attentively, being assertive, and respecting yourself and others. Additionally, it’s helpful to understand the different types of emotions and how they impact you. Good luck!

If you’re interested in participating in practical classes on the topic, join the how of happy program! It’s helping me a lot in the subject. Since I started, I have seen a lot of improvements in my life, learning not to judge my actions but to investigate them with curiosity! So be curious about yourself and be happy!

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Hello there, my name is Jônatas Davi Paganini and this is my personal blog.
I'm developer advocate at Timescale and I also have a few open source projects on github.

Check my talks or connect with me via linkedin / twitter / github / instagram / facebook / strava / meetup.